Thursday, November 12, 2009


I am annoyed at two people; my husband and my mother-in-law. I'll start with why I'm annoyed with my husband. Now, we've been together for quite awhile. Anyway, over all the years we've been together, I've been telling him about the gag reflex and that is why it is not a good idea for him to grab my head during a blow job. Today I found out he never believed me. I found this out by walking in on him watching some random chick on YouTube giving out sex tips and when I walked in she was talking about the gag reflex. So I said "Honey, why are you watching this? You already know about the gag reflex, I've told you about a zillion times."

So my husband said "Yeah, but I thought you were just being a b****, now I know you were telling the truth."

Well that lead to an argument with me asking why I'd lie about that. Apparently he saw several porn stars take the whole penis in their mouths. Now I don't care if he watches pornos, but why does he expect me to act like a porn star?

This is very similar to a discussion we had last night about people not being able to disassociate fiction from reality. For example, take Jim Parsons and his character, Sheldon, on The Big Bang Theory. I was reading some internet post asking if Jim Parsons ever got laid. So I voiced the opinion to my husband that people are idiots and that just because a guy plays an asexual on TV does not mean he's asexual in real life. Just like because someone plays a serial killer on, say, NYPD Blue does not mean that they are actually a serial killer.

Anyway, on to why I'm annoyed with my mother-in-law. Ironically enough, this also involves YouTube. See, I had just finished watching this video of Donna Sachet making history by being the first drag queen to ever sing The Star Spangled Banner at a MLB baseball game. Anyway, so my mother-in-law called and asked me what I was doing. Now, you should note that my mother-in-law is a very religious catholic who doesn't even believe in evolution, but I wasn't thinking when I told her that I was watching a video of a drag queen sing the national anthem at a major league baseball game. My mother-in-law said that was disgusting. I asked her why, since as far as I know, Donna Sachet is an American drag queen. I mean, if Donna Sachet is not an American, I can see the problem with her singing the American national anthem, but like I said, I assume she's American. That question was a big mistake. All I got for it was a ten-minute lecture on how homosexuality is wrong and how drag queens are the worst kinds of homosexuality.

I did not bother to point out to her that for starters, there are some heterosexual drag queens, and though they mostly do drag in their own homes. Nor did I point out that we are all God's children and who is she to judge? I also did not voice my opinion that if she doesn't like homosexuals, she probably shouldn't be living in the bluest state in the nation. Although I was thinking all that and much more. Instead I held my tongue and then put my husband on so that he could deal with her. After all, you have to pick your battles, and I chose not to argue with this woman since I learned my lesson when I tried to teach her about evolution.

No comments: